Surgery was successful!

After my attempted septum resection in June, I was feeling really discouraged. But this new doctor was confident that if anyone could remove it, he could. I went to my primary care clinic yesterday morning as planned, but left at lunchtime (without being able to eat lunch, obviously!) to head to the hospital.

I got there early, but I checked in anyway. Mr. E  was meeting me there, but he wasn't there yet when I got there. I went up to pre-op and was told to change into my gown and lock my stuff up in a locker. Then the nurse told me they would be taking me back. Commence breakdown. I wanted to at least give my husband a hug! The nurse was all like, well is there something specific you need from him? And I was all like, well, no, you stupid emotion-less Swede, I just need to see him.

OK, so that's not exactly what happened but I explained that I wanted to see him before I went back. She said ok, and told me she would come get me when he arrived. A few minutes later, he did. I gave him a quick hug and a kiss and then they took me back.

I met with my surgeon again and he was very reassuring.  He explained again that the way he performs this surgery, he doesn't actually remove any tissue, just cuts the septum. Then, the endometrium grows back over that tissue. It's amazing that the body can do that.

I also met with a very kind anesthesiologist who understood that, as a med student, I want to know all the details, as that makes me feel the most at ease. She explained that I would be given all the drugs they had for PONV prophylaxis (post operative nausea and vomiting, something I've unfortunately experienced before), which were meclozine, ondansetron, and betamethasone. Then I would be given Propofol and Fentanyl and go to sleep. I would have laryngeal mask anesthesia during the procedure. Great, all sounds good. I was super nervous, but she was understanding and calmed me down.

A few minutes later, they took me back. I was amazed that it went so quickly! Before my failed surgery I had to wait for over an hour, which felt like forever since I was so nervous.

They made me get into the stirrups, which was annoying, I was hoping they could just do that after I was asleep, but oh well. This is Sweden, land of no modesty. They did put the sterile drape over me, at least, so there's that. A little O2 by mask and then they put me to sleep.

I remember waking up in the OR briefly and asking if it worked. And they didn't really answer me clearly, but said something like yes, he removed it. I remember saying great!!! I was in pain so they gave me some Ketogan. And then I was out of it for a while longer.

While I was waking up, I was given antibiotics (a single dose of Zinacef), due to my 2 immunosuppressive meds. Miraculously, I had no PONV whatsoever. It's a miracle! I drank some water and ate a banana. The pain was there but very tolerable, it felt like cramps.

After I woke up, I spoke to my surgeon, who explained that it went well. He was able to remove the septum. Although my uterus still has a small dip at the top, it's nowhere near as severe as it was. He gave me no restrictions, since I had had the ABX. I was surprised, and will probably take some precautions just to be safe.

He also gave us the green light to TTC again after my next AF, which should be around the end of the month!! I kind of can't believe it. I've already ovulated, so hopefully my period will come on time. After 7 months of TTA, 1 failed and 1 successful surgery, and many, many tears, we will hopefully be able to try again. It'll only be one cycle at most, since I'll be leaving for the US of A in November, but 1 is more than 0.

I was very happy with the care I got and thrilled that it worked!! TTC, here we come!

13.1

I DID IT!!! I ran a half marathon! I'm really proud of myself :-D

Yesterday I woke up, and my throat was still sore, and my hip was still bothering me. I was starting to worry it's not just my adductor but something in my hip joint itself. I was considering not even going, because I didn't want to do permanent damage. I talked it over with Mr. E, and decided to go and do my best. I was worried my hip would hurt immediately, since the last time I tried to run (on Thursday), it hurt the very first step I ran.

I had picked up my bib and stuff the night before, so we got to the race about an hour before the start. The race started at 3:30, but my corral didn't start until 4pm. It was a really late start, and it was stressful because I had all day to stress out about it!

There were so many people there! About 17,000, actually. It was crazy. I had a last-minute snack, let Mr. E take some pictures of me, and dropped my stuff off at the bag check and walked to my corral. After one last stop at the porta potty, I waited to start. By the time my corral was almost ready to start, the elites had been running for half an hour, so they were almost halfway done!

At 4pm, we were off! I started my music and my (well, borrowed from Mr. E) Garmin, and took a few steps, seeing how my hip felt. No pain so far! That was a good sign. Hey, I might actually be able to run this. After 5K, I was still feeling good. I saw Mr. E for the first time and gave him the thumbs up (he ran around the whole city, following me around using Glympse, and I saw him 6 times I think during the race, plus at the start and the finish). After that, my hip started hurting, but it wasn't unbearable. The next time I saw Mr. E, at about 11K, I was still feeling good. He was taking pictures of me while I was running by, but not cheering! So I said, "Are you gonna cheer me on or just take pictures?!" Some people around me laughed at that.

At about 15K, I started feeling tired. My hip was hurting, as were my feet. I could feel a few blisters coming on. But I pushed through. At 17K, I knew there was a killer hill that lots of people talked about. It came at a point where everyone is already really tired. I slowed down a little and prepared myself. We started going uphill, but it wasn't that steep. I kept thinking, where is this big hill everyone keeps talking about?! It ended up being a very long, but not steep, hill. I don't know if it's because I did many of my training runs on hills or what, but I was fine. I mean, it was a tough stretch, but I had expected much worse.

At 19K, I saw Mr. E for the last time, and he said, "see you at the finish!!" At that point, I realized that I was going to finish this race. Even if I had to walk or crawl across the finish line. Up until then, I was kind of chugging along, hoping for the best. But at that moment, I knew I was going to finish. It was awesome. The last 2 miles were really hard. I told myself I could walk if it became unbearable, but it didn't. I was teetering on the edge of unbearable, but I was ok. At one point, my Garmin said 13.0 miles, so I picked up the pace for a minute, only to realize that we weren't really that close to the finish line. You can't see the finish line until you're like 100 yards from it, which was really discouraging.

The last minute or so, I thought I was going to die, but I was soclose! I pushed through. The last 100 yards is on a cobblestone street, and I almost fell because my legs were so wobbly.

I finished in 2:26:56. Not a great time, and I know I could've done better if the circumstances had been different. But considering the hip injury and cold, I am thrilled. I got a medal and hobbled over to the bag check. The Garmin said I ran 13.34 miles, which I guess makes sense because it was a very twisty/turny race, and I'm sure I didn't take the shortest route. I also didn't take any walk breaks, other than the water stops.

Even though I'm not thrilled with my time, I am really happy. Woohoo! 

The universe is conspiring against me

Just as my leg was starting to feel better, I woke up with a killer sore throat. WHY?! I'm trying not to panic too much, since I still have a few days to hopefully get better. But man, this sucks. I am going to be devastated if I can't run on Saturday.

Also, my surgery is in 9 days. Yikes. I haven't really thought about it too much, on purpose so I don't freak out, and also because I've just been so preoccupied with training, traveling, etc.

Stupid leg

I woke up this morning and my leg felt good, so I let myself try to run a short, super easy, super slow run.

My leg started hurting immediately as soon as I started running. I gave it a few minutes to see if loosening up would help, but it didn't. After 1/2 a mile, I called it quits and walked home.

I am so discouraged right now. It doesn't help that Mr. E has been away all week. He usually keeps my crazy in check when I get stressed out, but he hasn't been around to do that. Luckily (but maybe unfortunately for him?! haha), he'll be home tonight.

Either way, I am running this frickin' race next weekend. Even if I have to crawl across the finish line. I've worked too hard for this.

Well, I almost made it without an injury

I almost made it through my half training plan without an injury.

Almost.

Last Saturday, the day after I got back from the US, I needed to run 9 miles. It was POURING outside, but I figured I would run outside. You can't predict the weather on race day, right? I drove out to the trails I usually run on. Usually I run there, too, but my plan was to keep some sports drink and a banana in my car and run loops that passed by the car so I could refill and refuel. When I got to the trails, they were basically a lake. It wasn't really run-able, there was like a foot of water everywhere. I didn't want to slip and fall, or end up with mega blisters, so I decided to hit up the treadmill.

Since Winter ended, I've done all my runs outside, but I've previously run on a treadmill before, so whatever. I felt fine. It was a boring run, but I made it through.  I did get a few blisters on my toes though. Ouch.

A few hours later, I started to have pain in my right inner thigh, in my adductors. NOT GOOD. It wasn't soreness, it was pain. The next morning, though, it felt significantly better, so I lifted. Still felt fine. Monday morning the pain was worse, but not unbearable by any means. I set out on my 5 miler. I could run through the pain, but it definitely hurt. I knew I was being stupid by continuing to run, so I cut it short at 4 miles. I rested Tuesday and Wednesday and skipped my 3 and 5 mile runs.

Today, I was supposed to run 10, but the pain is still there. It is getting better though, which is encouraging. As much as I wanted to get out there and bang out some miles, I know that the most important thing is being injury-free on race day, not getting that last long run in. At least I hope that's the most important thing.

I made it through 10 weeks of half training feeling good, and then, bam. I'm so discouraged. This training has basically been the glue holding me together through my second loss, failed septum resection, 7 months of TTA, etc. etc. etc.

The pain right now, on Saturday evening, is the best it has been since last Saturday. If I still feel good tomorrow morning, I'll try a super easy run.

Please, please, please get better, leg!

First Race Ever!

On August 25, I ran my first race ever! It was the Shore Road Summer Classic 10K. The race was a 5K and a 10K, and I chose to run the 10K. I lucked out since I was able to find a 10K the exact week I was supposed to run a 10K for my half training, which was really great since I wasn't able to run a 10K.

In the days and weeks leading up to the race, I was trying to figure out what a reasonable goal time would be. I had run farther than 10K several times before, so I knew finishing shouldn't be a problem. But I didn't want to totally burn out and have to crawl across the finish line, either.

Most of my longer training runs have been on hilly trails, and this race was pavement and flat, so it was hard to say what my pace would be. But I ran a pretty flat 5 miles in Switzerland in about a 10:24 min/mile pace, so that gave me a jumping off point. I talked to Mr.E and said I hoped to finish in 1:05. He thought that was too easy of a goal and that he thought I could break 60 minutes. I was all, what? no way. But he said he thought I could do it, and that it would be better to try and die in the end than be disappointed knowing I could've given more. So, I decided to set my goal for sub-60 minutes, which would be a 9:37 pace to finish in 59:45.

Race day was beautiful! It was mid-80's and not too humid. You can't ask for much better than that in NYC in August. I got up at about 5:45 and my stomach was really upset. The combination of nerves + Crohn's Disease is no good. I expected it would be like that, but it still sucked. Anyway, my parents actually drove me down to the race and stayed to cheer me on!

When I got there, I picked up my bib (!!) and pinned it on my stomach. I don't know exactly how many runners there were, but it was pretty small, a few hundred. We milled around and I stood in the long porta potty line. When it was 8:00, we all gathered by the starting line, and then all of a sudden we were off! I started the Garmin I was borrowing from Mr.E and started my 10K playlist I had created on the plane ride.

It was an out-and-back course along the water, and it was really pretty! I tried not to start out too fast, and I just moved over to the right hand side and tried to find my running zen. I kept looking at my watch and seeing I was too fast. I just chugged along for a while, trying to keep a steady pace. There weren't any spectators or anything, so after a few minutes, it didn't even really feel like a race. There weren't that many runners, so we spread out quickly. After 1.5 miles, the 5Kers turned around. So far, my pace was good. The first water stop was at about 2.5 miles. I took a cup and walked while I drank, as I had planned. As we approached the turnaround point at 5K, I found myself unable to stop accelerating to make sure I made it to the 5K in under 30 minutes. That way, if the rest of the race went to hell, at least I had that! I thought we would get splits, which we didn't, which sucked. But I did make it in under 30 minutes, so that was good. And I was on track to finish in less than an hour if I could keep it up.

At the second water stop, at about 4 miles, I was starting to feel tired. I drank and walked, but did so a little slower than I had done at the previous stop! At about 45 minutes, I was really starting to fade. I had been able to maintain a sub-9:40 pace the whole time, but at that point, it was getting too hard. I decided to take a quick walk break and try to stay on track afterwards. That didn't go so well, and resulted in me having to walk another minute. I almost never walk in training, so this was very frustrating.

At that point, I knew that I was super close to making it in under an hour, but that I didn't think I was going to make it. I did my best the last 10-ish minutes, but I was pretty sure I was going to be just over 60 minutes. My dad had walked out to the 6-mile marker and cheered me on, which I desperately needed! I run as fast as I could the last 0.2 miles, and gave it everything I had. I crossed the finish line as the clock said 1:00:20. While I was happy to have finished, and with a decent time, I was SO disappointed.

My official time was 1:00:16. 16 lousy seconds! I was pretty frustrated. But I tried to focus on the positive. I knew I had done my best and that I had had nothing more to give.

Next time, I WILL break 1 hour!

#11

I forgot to add one very important thing to my list of things you need to know about Switzerland:

11. ALL THE TOILET PAPER IS SOFT.

Seriously. Even on the trains, in the gross train bathrooms (which, incidentally, are not that gross in Switzerland), the TP is soft. It's amazing.

Which brings me to the fact that Swedes somehow think that brown butcher paper is OK as toilet paper. News flash: it's not. That stuff hurts, and I don't know how the Swedes do it.

As someone with Crohn's Disease, I use a lot of TP. And the brown scratchy stuff is no fun. We buy the nice stuff at home, but at the hospital, sometimes I want to die.