Sometimes I feel like I am being punished for something, with all these losses. And I see so many people in the hospital who either neglect their children, or are irresponsible, or for whatever reason I feel like I would be a much better parent than them. Maybe that's mean, but it's true.
It makes me feel terrible when I feel this way, but I just feel like I deserve a baby. So many unfit parents get pregnant easily, don't miscarry, and have tons of babies who they can't support. Why can't I even have one? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? I know I should be grateful for what I have, and I am. But I feel empty, like something is missing. I know what that something is but I don't know how to get it.
It makes me feel terrible when I feel this way, but I just feel like I deserve a baby. So many unfit parents get pregnant easily, don't miscarry, and have tons of babies who they can't support. Why can't I even have one? What did I do to deserve this? What did I do wrong? I know I should be grateful for what I have, and I am. But I feel empty, like something is missing. I know what that something is but I don't know how to get it.
No comments:
Post a Comment