Roller Coaster

Last Friday was a total roller coaster!

The Bad News (8:30am):
I had a ton of follies on my right side (about 16, and about 4 on my left). Everything looked ok on Wednesday but I guess something happened in those 2 days. Due to that, they think my risk of developing OHSS is too high and they said I have to do a freeze-all cycle. Which means no embryo transfer. They switched my trigger to Suprefact instead of hCG (which greatly decreases the risk of OHSS). To say I was devastated would be an understatement. I was totally not expecting that since everything had looked ok up until that point. And since I knew I had matched, I knew I would be moving stateside in 2-ish months, giving us minimal time for FET(s). I was, and still am, totally crushed. But I've come to terms with it and am just hoping we can squeeze a FET in. In the mean time, trying to focus on...

The Good News (5:55pm):
I matched into an AWESOME program!!! It was my #2 choice, but my #1 was really a reach. While I'm a little hurt my #1 didn't want me (since I told them they were my #1), I am very, very, VERY excited about my program!!!!

So, that day was a mix of happy and sad tears, complete and utter disappointment mixed with joy and pride. Embryo Retrieval is tomorrow, hoping we get some good embryos that fertilize and divide well, and that we can squeeze in at least one FET before I leave. In the mean time, I've been researching shipping embryos.......

I am going to be a pediatrician!!

I just found out that I MATCHED!! I won't find out where until Friday, but I know it's in pediatrics since that's all I applied for. I get to spend my career making sick kids better! Hopefully in an ER or a NICU. I have worked so, so hard for this. I am so excited!

The Match is a legally binding application process. Basically, you apply to programs, and you get offered interviews. You go on the interviews, and then you rank the places you would consider training at in the order in which you liked them. The programs do the same, and rank their applicants. Then, you get matched by a computer algorithm. You get one spot, or no spot. If you get a spot, it's legally binding for both parties.
 
I went on 14 interviews. One of them was a prematch position, which means if they like you, they offer you a position outside of the Match. If you accept it, you have to withdraw from the Match. I didn't know this when I applied, but I went on the interview anyway, for practice if nothing else. The program was ok but didn't really have what I was looking for, especially compared to a lot of the other places I interviewed at. I was offered a position, but turned it down.

So that left 13. Of the 13, two were outstanding. Two were really great. Three were great. One was pretty good. Two were not very good. One was pretty bad. And finally, there were two that I got a really bad feeling at and knew right away I did NOT want to train there. I hemmed and hawed a lot about how many programs to include on my rank list. In the end, I decided that having a successful, meaningful career was more important than *just* being able to work in the US. I ranked 8 programs (all the way down to, and including, the "pretty good" program.) I felt this was the best possible balance between having the opportunity to work in the US, and still having a great career. I knew that the fewer programs I put on my list, the lower my chances of matching. But I knew I could get excellent training in Sweden. I felt good about my decision, even before I got the "Congratulations, you have matched!" email today.

So, Mr. E and I are moving stateside! We'll find out Friday where!

In other news, my follies are growing well. Four to five 10mm-ish follies on each side. So far I've been experiencing headaches, a nosebleed, sore boobs, and lower abdominal discomfort. Not too bad though. Next monitoring ultrasound is on Wednesday.

Privilege

As I wait for the email next week that will tell me my fate in the match, I have been reflecting on what it means to be a doctor. Even if I don't match into a residency spot in the US, I will (hopefully) have a great career ahead of me in Sweden. In the middle of my night shift last night, I found myself suddenly overwhelmed by the feeling of privilege. It is a great privilege to take care of people. To see them when they're at their most vulnerable. To try to figure out what's wrong with them when they suddenly get sick. To lay a hand on their arm and tell them you are doing everything you can. To help someone not suffer during their final hours. To then lay a hand on a family member's arm and tell them you did everything you could. I did all of those things, and more, in one single shift. It is truly a great privilege, and I know I am very fortunate to be able to do what I do.

Well, that didn't work :(

On Monday, I got AF (at 10 dpIUI, WTF?!). I have never ever in my 3.5 years of charting had an LP shorter than 13 days so I was really shocked and annoyed. I wasn't really expecting the IUI to work, but I certainly wasn't expecting to get AF so early. The doctor I talked to at the clinic was just like yeah, this can happen. No one seems concerned so I'm trying to just let it go.

The good news is, I had a baseline CD2 ultrasound on Tuesday and we got the green light for IVF! The plan is:
- Gonal F 150IU every night
- Add Orgalutran starting on CD6
- .....ultrasounds, possible dose adjustments....
- Trigger
- ER 36 hours after trigger
- ET 2-5 days later
- Lutinus (progesterone) supps 3x/day

It's a little daunting because there are 3 types of shots, 2 of which have to be refrigerated which is complicated because I'm on nights right now and have to schlep my stuff back and forth to work, but whatever. It's on like Donkey Kong. Let's do this! Please please let this work.

CD 23: IUI #1, 2WW

Well, the IUI on Friday went well. I triggered with Ovitrelle on Wednesday at 9:30pm, and did the IUI on Friday at 1:30pm. Mr. E did his sample earlier that morning, which they said was great (100 million sperm! How can we have that much and never manage to get pregnant?!) The IUI wasn't fun, not gonna lie, but it wasn't too bad. Felt like when I had my SHGs, a pelvic exam with a catheter through my cervix. Not pleasant but it was over quickly. And afterwards, my husband, ever the comedian, said, "So, was it good for you?" Ha.

.....And now we wait. Not only to find out if I'll get pregnant, but the week after that 2WW is over, I will find out whether or not I matched into a residency spot in the US. I'm going to write more about that whole process later, but it's been very overwhelming to say the least. Needless to say, March could be the best month ever in the E household. So we will be doing everything we can to bring us good luck, using the American and Swedish customs: Crossing our fingers and holding our thumbs.