Losing my mind

All this waiting and not knowing is making me lose my mind. Today I got an appointment for an ultrasound on Monday, which will probably not be definitive regardless of whether the news is bad or good, but it will give us more information. In the meantime, I'm just running through all the scenarios in my head.

• The baby hasn't developed at all and we can still only see an empty sac.
• The empty sac is too high up and I'll have to go through the same thing as last year.
• The baby has developed, but it's too high up near the tube and I can't continue the pregnancy.
• The baby has developed a little bit, but not enough to know which way it's going to go.
• We're not sure exactly where the pregnancy is and whether or not it's potentially dangerous.

And then there's also the tiny, tiny possibility that

•  Everything looks good. The baby has developed and the location is fine.

That feels very unlikely right now, after everything I've been through. But maybe. Just maybe.